


High School Redux

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:19:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU based on the movie:  Never Been Kissed</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I started this, it was only going to be about 5000 words. Adam had other ideas. Please, suspend your belief – try imagining Adam as that pudgy teenager we've all read about, try to imagine him not ending up in the theater...where would he have gone?

**Title:** High School Redux  
**Movie:** Never Been Kissed

"You can't be serious!" I stared at Anoop. Simon Cowell, the label owner was waving his hands enthusiastically in the air.

The label manager of Cowell Records, my immediate boss, shook his head, helpless, and Simon replied, "I think it is a brilliant idea. We've all lost track of what the kids of today are listening to. We need to be out there in the trenches, talking to them, finding out what they want and where the industry is heading."

I was pale and shaking. "But sending me undercover to a school disguised as a student? Isn't that a little extreme? Can't we just..." my hands flailed. "I don't know, take a survey or something?"

Simon shook his head. "No, because people lie on things like that. It's like that American Idol show, they all think they can sing but perhaps five of them are actually capable of actually holding a tune."

I frowned, struggling to follow the logic. "Simon, surely taking a core group of kids and asking them what they listen to and what they want to hear more of…"

He held up an imperious hand. "I have made up my mind. You will have to do it unless you think you can't, Lambert, in which case you will have to look for another job…"

I felt my shoulders slump. "No. I'll do it."

"Good." And he was gone. Like the ill-wind that blew no good. I looked over at Anoop, helplessly.

"This is not a good thing. I have very bad memories of high school. I was never the cool guy."

Anoop raised an eyebrow. "As opposed to how popular you are now?" I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"I am twenty-seven years old. I don't know if I can pass for a teenager." I was desperate.

"You look like an eighteen year old with no make-up on and you have those freckles and bad skin and let's be honest; you're a bit overweight which always makes a person look younger." Anoop's logical tone was setting my teeth on edge.

"Thank you very much for that physical dissection." I growled and my boss shrugged.

Matt came skidding into the office. "Dude, I heard you're gonna be an undercover brother?"

Good news sure traveled fast it seemed and I nodded. "Yeah, going back to school. To find out what the kids of today really want from their music."

My best friend since kindergarten pulled a face. "You were so great at high school."

I pointed a finger at Anoop. "I am just going on the record as saying that this is going to end in disaster. Simon is not the all-powerful Oz and not every idea that flits through his brain is a good one." On that parting note, I spun on my heel and hooked my sleeve in the door handle, ruining it and my grand exit. Fuck.

That night, I was having dinner with my step-brother, David, who had never had a problem with popularity in school. He thought the whole idea was hilarious and brilliant.

I watched the food roiling in his mouth with fascination while he talked. "Man, if I could go back to school I would totally study and ace all my tests and get that football scholarship."

I stared at him, astonished. "You hate football."

He shrugged. "But then I could go to college and study music and get that break. Like you." We were both theater kids, it was all we knew. My mother and David's father, both amateur actors, had met when I was five and had been together ever since.

"I haven't had a break yet, Dave. I work for a record label. I am a lowly executive on the food chain with no power at all. There is nothing 'break'-y about my job." It galled me that I hadn't lived my dreams either.

"So, take this chance and make the most of it." Dave told me. "Don't be the loser this time, Adam."

When I showered that night, I thought about his advice and wondered if it would be possible. My memories of high school were traumatic to say the least. Strawberry blond hair, pudgy, freckly and with bad skin, I had been a walking wet dream for every cruel taunt possible. And then there was the fact that I was gay and mostly closeted about it. That made everything even worse. Small town America is not okay with homosexuality no matter what the posters say. It had been a nightmare that I really didn't want to relive now that I was an adult and in control of my own destiny. Right. Me, in control. I even mocked myself in my mind!

I dried myself off and looked in the mirror, even though my hair was now dyed brown, the fat still fought to hold its place around my waist and the dreaded freckles mapped every inch of my skin. Even the break outs hadn't gone away completely. I was the unluckiest adult on the planet.

I rested my hip against the sink and thought about the worst night of my school career, perhaps even my life, it had certainly scarred me. It was prom night and I hadn't planned on going. I mean, I had girl friends, all members of our Glee Club, but they had dates and I wasn't going to go stag. That would be worse than going with my cousin, Juanita, which my mother had tried to encourage.

I had a crush on the cutest boy in school, Micah Brand. All the girls wanted him and all the guys wanted to be him. You know, one of those perfect boys that only ever exist when you're a teenager and the world still has promise?

Matt had come running to me and told me that Micah was going to ask me to the prom. Seriously. What had I been thinking? That the most popular boy in the entire state of Arkansas was interested in a big, fat, freckly Jew? That I had awoken his gay? But I was young and stupid and in lust so I had said yes when he came to ask me.

The night of the prom I waited for him to show, dressed in a tuxedo and was both excited and terrified at literally coming out to everyone. I mean, they already knew, but this would be official. Micah didn't show. He went with Wendy Lutin, the head of the cheerleaders and they were voted King and Queen of the Prom, of course. I waited for him until ten that night, then my mother came and pulled me inside and I sobbed myself to sleep.

So yes, going back to high school wasn't something I was looking forward to.

My 'father', Simon Cowell, had registered me at Compton High that day. The small part of me that wasn't stone cold terrified was highly entertained at being the big boss' 'son'. It was the closest high school to where Dave, Matt and I lived, about an hour out of LA. Large enough for me to blend in easily but small enough for me to become a part of the school life quickly.

When I pulled up in my battered and belching Ford Cortina, everyone stared at me. My stomach clenched with nerves as I relived those last unhappy years. New boy in school syndrome hadn't changed in ten years. I walked up the steps and into the school, the halls washing me with instant memory. Most of them awful. I stopped and stared around, spotting the high school usual suspects, the pretty girls, the jocks, the brainiacs and the misfits.

"Oh, sorry." A rough velvet voice apologized for bumping into me and I looked down into bright eyes partially covered by fire red hair.

I smiled down at the girl. "That's okay. I was kinda standing here like a statue. Not your fault."

She grinned and held out a hand. "Allison Iraheta. Glee Club Captain. You're new?"

We shook hands and I nodded. "Adam Lambert. Noob." We smiled at each other for a moment.

She asked, "Do you want me to show you to the secretary's office?"

I nodded gratefully, "That would be very nice of you. Thank you." She looked a bit surprised and I reminded myself to use more slang. Kids didn't speak English too well these days. Too good. Ugh.

She led me down a maze of corridors full of hundreds of teenagers. At the door to the principal's office she left me with an invitation. "Glee Club is practicing this afternoon. You're welcome to come. Even if you don't sing, we're always looking for people to help with music or costumes or…" She trailed off and looked at me.

"I can sing. A little." I admitted and her smile grew big and delighted.

"Awesome! Meet me here at two thirty and we can go together. Then you won't feel weird." I grinned back at her, watched her head off down the hall and felt myself relax a little. Perhaps this wouldn't be the disaster of the century after all. I turned to go into the office and the door slammed open and I bounced off it like a ball, tumbling to the floor.

"Oh God, are you okay?" I opened my eyes and looked up into warm brown eyes. And fell in love.

"Um…" I lay there, beached whale fat and mumbled, gazing up at the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. He crouched down next to me and reached down, grabbed my hand and pulled me up into a sitting position.

"Hey." He held up two fingers. "How many fingers?" His voice was hot silk and I was stunned into silence. An occurrence that many of my friends would celebrate.

"T…two…" It sounded like I was talking through razor blades and he grinned, relieved.

"Thank God. Not good killing someone with a door." He changed his grip and shook my hand. "Kris Allen, music teacher."

"Adam…uh…Lambert." I returned his hand shake and then remembered my cover. "New student."

His face fell and he drew back. "Oh." He sat back on his heels and then got to his feet, hauling me up. He was little, but strong and I towered over him. "Welcome to Compton High, Adam."

His smile was more reserved and suddenly all I wanted was to make him smile again. "I've met a girl, Allison. She told me to join the Glee Club. Are you the teacher in charge?"

The grin emerged again. "Yep, that's my baby girl. Alli is our little star. Do you sing?"

I nodded. "A bit. I was always a Glee Club member at school." He looked confused at my odd phrasing. "I mean, at my last school. I was a member. Of Glee Club." I face palmed mentally because I sounded like I had a brain deficiency or a speech impediment or both, and I wanted to impress this beautiful man quite desperately.

"That's …uh…good to know." He started walking away and turned back suddenly. "I'll see you later at Glee?"

My nodding was more vigorous. I probably looked like I had a disease since I carried on nodding, long after he turned the corner and disappeared. Fuck.

The principal was pleasant, the secretary more so and I quickly had my class assignments and was heading for biology. It had to be easier than when I did it first time around. Right?

Of course it was.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day One:

Is it okay to kill children these days? I mean, could I plead justifiable homicide? I'm sure there's some handbook given out to bullies everywhere.

And since I am all 'back to the future only it's the past', I will take this moment to state categorically that I hate kids and I would rather have my nuts cut off than breed. Okay? Remind me of this day when I talk about having children.

It was excruciating and humiliating how quickly I fell back into the patterns of my formative years. The football jocks picked up on my oddness and by lunchtime I was covered in chocolate milk and slaw. My neatly pressed chinos would never be the same. And my cardigan was a lost cause.

The only bright spot in that unbearable day was when school ended and I was collected by Allison at the principal's office and guided to the haven of Glee Club. When we got there, I searched for the pretty face I had collided with earlier and felt something in me ease when I saw Kris Allen, music teacher, talking to a slim, blond girl with a ridiculous tattoo running the length of her arm. Kids were allowed to have tattoos now? I was so out of the loop!

"Teach! I brought fresh meat!" Allison bellowed and everyone spun around to look at us. I waved tentatively and followed Allison to the stage.

"Well done, my young apprentice. You have grown in the ways of the Glee Force." Kris intoned and they shared a grin. He smiled at me. "Hello again, Adam."

My throat closed and I lost the power of speech. If he bottled the charm of that smile he could…rule the world or some shit like that, because it was potent. I cleared my throat. Or maybe that was only me. "Hi." I croaked.

Kris turned to the rest of the group. "Guys, this is Adam Lambert. He's new in school and he says that he can sing a little," the grin grew wicked. "Shall we give him a real Glee Club welcome?" They all clapped and yelled 'yes' and Kris shouted at the guy behind the piano, "Hit it Scott!"

The rocking beat of "Don't Stop Believing" started and the kids all sang along. Kris grasped my shoulder and it was all I could do not to whimper. "C'mon Adam, this is like a Glee Club standard. You have to sing too!" So I did. And for the first time in almost eight years I let my voice free.

_"Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to that feelin', yeah"_

Then I realized that everyone else had stopped singing and was staring at me. "Sorry. I haven't done that in a while. I must be a bit rusty." I stammered.

Kris looked at me in disbelief. "Fuck. Sorry kids. But seriously, fuck. Who has a voice like that?"

I felt myself flush. I wasn't sure what he meant, was it good? Bad? Get the fuck out of Glee? "Sorry?" I apologized again and Kris just shook his head.

"That was fuckin' awesome dude? You have like the voice of a fuckin' angel!" Allison was practically bouncing off the floor and her smile stretched wide over her face. I felt my shoulders relax as the rest of the kids surrounded me, chattering and asking me questions. I peeked over at Kris. He was standing at the piano, handing the musician a white stick and …oh my God, was he blind?

 

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Two:

I can safely say that being around teenagers drops one's intelligence quotient by a good few hundred points. My vocabulary is already suffering under the onslaught of 'like' and 'dude' and 'totally'. I may never recover. I might have to go back to college after this for a refresher course in how to speak English.

Oh, and high school jocks? Still the most hideous people to walk the halls, apart from the cheerleaders. They take lessons in insults and jibes and making people feel inferior. I am a fucking grown-ass man. I need to get over myself.

Day two started well enough. No food accidents or walking into doors or anything remotely embarrassing. Good times. Then it was time for Music and I walked in there with my heart about beating itself out of my chest because I was seriously crushing so fucking hard on Kris and I was a student so he wouldn't (couldn't) look at me in that way and I might just die from all the teenage angst in my twenty-seven year old body. God help me.

Of course, Danny, football captain and all around asshole (we'd met), stuck his foot out and tripped me and I went down face first, ramming into a desk and seeing the starry heavens. Then I tasted the sticky iron of blood and remembered that I had an alarming tendency to pass out when I saw…

I woke up in the nurse's office with an icepack on my head and a throbbing pain in my lip. I opened my eyes and looked around and of course, Kris was sitting there, brown eyes worried, mouth tight and hard.

"Thank God. You're awake at last. How do you feel?" He was anxious, concerned and I melted a little. He was just all sorts of adorable.

"My mouf ith thore." Shit. I'd split my lip. Kris smiled in relief. I tried to smile back but yelped when the pain stabbed through me.

"Danny has detention for about a year." Kris informed me.

I shook my head, fucking balls, that hurt. "Nao. Doan do dat. Ill on'y make fings worse." I prayed he could understand my garbled panic. When he smiled and nodded, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, but he's gonna have to do the time today. What he did wasn't cool." He reached out a hand and repositioned the icepack. "Try get a little rest. You took a hell of a knock to your head," he told me.

"My head ith pwetty tuth." I replied and this time I think my eyes actually rolled in irritation.

Kris grinned, mouth quirked up at the side. "I'm gonna let you chill here for a bit and then, I'll drive you home, okay? You might have a concussion and shouldn't be driving."

I think that's when the hyperventilating started.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Three:

Is it possible to fall in love at first sight? I think I did. It's been three days since I met Kris but all I can do is think about him. I even caught myself doodling his initials with a heart around them. Oh dear lord, save me from this regressed teenage crap.

When he drove me home, he wanted to make sure I got inside okay but I made up some stupid ass story now I think he thinks I come from an abused home. He's the knight on the white charger type. I'm sure he was ready to come in with me and protect me from my evil family. That said, sigh. My foolish heart is smitten. And my mouth is fucking sore.

Before I forget, let me tell you about Archie….

Day three brought apologies (grudging) from Danny, admiration (sincere) from Allison and introductions (surprisingly) to David Archuleta, school heartthrob and Glee Club co-captain.

Oh my fucking God. Not only was Archie (seriously, how cute is that?) the most gorgeous little creature on the planet and I had disturbing visions of folding him up and putting him in my backpack, but he was nice. How was that possible? He actually sat and talked to me while we were sitting watching the girls wailing Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby". Pretty boys never really talked to guys like me.

"So, um, Adam, where did you transfer in from?" His voice was soft and sweet and he stared right at me as he talked, focused and sure. I couldn't get over how amazing his skin was and those eyes… Just because I was on diet, didn't mean I couldn't look at the menu, right?

"I, uh…" I tried to remember what Simon had cataloged on my transfer. "I was in a private school in Los Angeles. It was run by the Church of Scientology." I wanted to kick Simon right then.

David frowned. "Wow, gosh, I mean, that must have been tough. They have a lot of rules, don't they?"

I nodded, cataloging my scant knowledge of Scientology mentally. "Yeah, it was, especially when I got sick and they wouldn't let me have medicine."

David's face was crinkled with concern. "Oh my gosh, that's terrible! I can see why you moved away from there."

My agreement was tacit and we grinned at each other. He was so not the kind of guy that usually interested me but there was something innocent and just plain good about him that charmed me. We chatted about school and music and how godawful jocks were and how kick awesome Glee was and the afternoon sped by. I was a little in love with this lovely boy. I am fickle. Sue me.

"Adam." Kris was standing in front of us, looking from one face to the other with a small crease in his brow.

"Oh hi, Mr. Allen." I chirped because here, in this place, I was home and felt comfortable. It was the real world that kept cutting me down. "I didn't see you there."

"Please, call me Kris, everyone else does." He still wasn't smiling and I wondered why. "We want to try a new song and Alli suggested that you would be perfect for the lead vocal."

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "No. Seriously, chorus is fine for me. I get stage fright and then I start coughing and then the world collapses into a black hole."

My babbling had the effect of making my hot as hell teacher smile so I guess that it wasn't a bad thing. "We'll take care of you. I promise. Now, you and Archie need to come on down, I actually think it would work with the two of you singing it."

I exchanged a look with David who smiled gently and stood up, offering a hand. I took it reluctantly and then was shaken when he didn't let go and led me down to the stage. I was so surprised by him. He really didn't seem the type. But I should know better, it's always the quiet ones who take you aback.

Kris looked down at our joined hands and then passed us sheet music to "We Are the Champions". We had to let go of each other's hands but he stood close by me, tiny but sturdy body close. If I didn't know better I would have thought that he was cuddling up to me, but I did. Know better I mean. Because that was impossible.

And then he started singing and I felt my heart stop. I just stared at him and he stopped singing and asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did I sound off-key?"

I shook my head. "You sounded amazing." His smile was perfect and I turned into a little puddle of goo right there. Not that I had one sexual thought about him, okay, maybe a little one, but I just liked him. He made me want to be a better man. Dear God. Now I was quoting Jack Nicholson. The world was going to end.

All this time, Kris watched us, eyes dark, face expressionless and why I felt like I was cheating on him, I really didn't know.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Four:

I am in serious shit now. Simon called wanting to know how the research was going. I told him that I was a member of the Glee Club and he told me that I was a complete loser and that if I didn't get some useful information soon, he was going to pull the plug on the operation. Not saying I wouldn't do the dance of joy if that happened, but it would probably be accompanied by him pulling the plug on my job, so I promised him results by the end of the week.

And in other news…God gave me Dave to test me. I swear. There are less than two years between us but seriously I am grateful that he's not actually related to me in any way other than by marriage, which to be honest, is a fairly solid connection, but at least there are no shared genetics.

He decided that my terminal uncoolness needed a boost. Like him. So he enrolled himself in the same fucking school. I hate him. You want to know why? Because within an hour of his arrival, he was like the king of cool and everyone loved him. That's why.

But at least I have Glee...

"So, Adam is like a celebrity among the Scientologists," I overheard Dave talking to a group of large guys, one of whom was my nemesis, Danny. I ducked back behind the wall and eavesdropped. My step brother continued. "Like, Tom Cruise used to ask him to sing at every morning worship even though there are some pretty big names in that congregation."

"How do you know all this stuff about Adam?" Big Mike, the other half of Danny asked suspiciously. _Yeah, Dave, how do you know all this stuff about me?_ I thought nastily.

He was ready with an answer. "I used to go to the same school, but they kicked me out when I told a teacher that aliens weren't real." He laughed. "Adam was always better at pretending than me. You know, his mom is like a famous theater actress and his dad died and left him a shitload of money."

"So why does he drive that crappy Ford then?" This time it was Danny asking.

He had a reply there too. "He doesn't like to look like he's bragging on his money. He's sort of a modest guy, you know?" I was rolling my eyes and decided to announce my presence. When I walked around the corner, Dave caught my eye and grinned. "Adam! What a coincidence. We were just talking about you?"

"Really?" I drawled, wondering if the sarcasm was too blatant. Not that it would deter my brother.

"Yeah, I was just telling the guys about your time at the school in LA. You know, when you used to hang with Tom Cruise and shit?" He widened his eyes and stuck his chin forward, encouraging me to go along with the lie.

I shrugged. "I prefer not to remember that. It was a very tough time for me when I had to leave." My acting skills were not that great so I decided to get away while I still could. "I'm heading to Glee Club, Dave, are you coming with?"

His new friends looked at him in horror. Glee was still the school equivalent of algae on rocks. "You like Glee Club?" Danny asked. He looked like he was debating whether to disown him from the Cool Kids Club. Only David Archuleta seemed to avoid the taint, but that was because he was an angel.

Dave nodded happily. "Yeah, I like that I can express my creative side on the stage and my physical side on the field."

I muttered, "Of course, that leaves little time for your actual intellectual side for the classroom." Dave grinned at me and I had to restrain myself from throwing my book bag at him.

"That's what I have you for, buddy." He slung an arm around my shoulder and we strolled off towards the auditorium.

"I hate you." I hissed out the side of my mouth as we walked down the hall.

"I love you enough for both of us." Dave whispered back and I started laughing.

The guys and girls were already there when I walked in with Dave and the singing stopped as they stared at us.

Alli was the first to speak. "Who's the stud, Adam?"

"Dave, this is the Glee Club, guys, this is a friend of mine from my old school, Dave Cook." I made the introductions and walked over to Kris who was busy with Scott at the piano. "I hope you don't mind that I brought him with me. He's an okay singer, even if he is a bit of a jerk."

I smiled at Kris who gave a short smile in return. "No problem, Adam. We always welcome new members." He turned back to Scott and just like that I was dismissed. I frowned down at the back of his head. This wasn't the same guy who had been so nice to me on my first day here.

I felt a touch at my waist and turned to find Archie smiling at me. "Hi," he said and his hand stayed there. Oh.

"Hey yourself," I replied, bumping back at him and skillfully dislodging that small warm hand. Archie continued smiling and then the smile disappeared as Dave bounded up to us.

"Hey! I'm Dave Cook, Adam's friend." He held out a hand and Archie took it, appearing reluctant.

"Um, hi? I'm David too, Archuleta though. I mean my name…" And he subsided into a miserable silence, quickly letting go of Dave's hand.

"That's great." He was trying to be friendly, but Archie had curled in on himself like a turtle and wasn't coming out. I was surprised by another person's odd behavior that afternoon. Archie didn't like my brother. Everyone liked Dave. Everyone. "So, maybe so we don't get confused, I'll be Cook?" I was bemused. Dave was trying way too hard here. I took a quick glance at his face. Uh-oh.

"Do you want to go and practice our song?" Archie asked me without replying to Dave and I had the feeling that he was very seldom rude to anyone. Dave and I exchanged a look.

"Sure, Archie." I followed him and we settled into the comfortable rhythm of music and lyrics. I watched Dave out of the corner of my eye. He was chatting to Megan, laughing and goofing off, but he kept glancing over at us. Kris was also trying not to look too interested in what we were doing. Hmm. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would say.

Archie was not a touchy guy. I watched him with the girls and boys in the club. They all went out of their way to ruffle his hair or touch his arm or nudge him, but every time he pulled away or dodged the hands. It was a strange thing but Archie didn't seem to have the same problem with me. He snuggled up against me like a kitten, finding a spot under my arm and staying there. He smiled up at me while we sang and I felt a moment of alarm. This could not be good.

We walked out together after Glee, Dave trailing after us and I asked Archie. "So how old are you? I mean, you don't look old enough to be a senior." Subtle Lambert, but I was not going to encourage a crush from an under-aged boy.

Archie, still tucked up next to me, looked up. "I'll be eighteen in December." He smiled. "You'd better be at my party."

I took a deep breath. I had to head this off at the pass. "Wow. So you're seventeen, huh?" I am a mathematics genius, go figure.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, my parents have promised me a car for my birthday. I can't wait." He was so precious that I wanted to wrap him in cotton wool and keep him safe from the evil world out there forever.

"So, can I come to your party too?" Dave was hanging over my shoulder, one arm draped around my neck and grinning down at Archie.

His smile dimmed and he stammered, "Oh. Yes, of course. All the Glee members will be invited. I think Kris and his girlfriend will be there too."

Girlfriend? It appeared I had misinterpreted a whole lot about Kris. I had been sure he was gay. Obviously my gaydar was seriously out of whack.

"Cool." Dave was acting like a puppy desperate for attention and I was bewildered. Obviously this boy was affecting him in some way and I was intrigued. As far as I knew, my step-brother was as straight as a ruler. School might be fun after all.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Five:

I have no idea how shit happens to me all the fucking time. I got a letter from Archie in class today telling me he likes me. Oh God. I am a pedophile. Dave saw the letter and now he's not talking to me. He thinks I'm a pedophile too. I didn't do anything! Besides, he's a kid, hormonal and emotional and this is going to go away. Right?

On a more research-y note, I was talking to Alli, who told me that the club the kids all go to every weekend is called, "The Cage". We've made a date for tonight. Apparently Friday night is the time to be seen. I hope I can get enough ammo to give to Simon so that I can escape the hell that is High School Redux.

"So, I hear you're going to "The Cage" tonight with Alli?" Archie appeared at my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I had no idea what had prompted this crush but I was really uncomfortable. And he was totally my type, except for the illegal-you-could-get-put-in-jail part.

"Yeah." I replied. "I want to see what all the hype is about."

Archie looked up at me. "Can I come too?" Hopeful brown puppy-dog eyes gazed at me and stronger men than I would have been able to refuse him.

"Sure. I'll fetch you at nine?" He smiled brightly and headed off to his next class.

"You are such an asshole." Dave's voice was vicious and I turned to him in surprise.

"Oh, excuse me, you're talking to me again?" I was irritated with the holier-than-thou attitude I'd been treated to last night. I wasn't responsible for how Archie felt about me.

"You're leading him on." Dave accused and I rolled my eyes. "You're letting him think you're interested."

I glared at him. "Maybe I am. And in a few months I can do something about it." I was feeling mean. "What's it got to do with you?"

"You're too old for him." Dave fired back.

I laughed. "Again, what's it got to do with you?"

Dave dropped his gaze and shrugged. "I like him. He seems like a cool kid."

"He's safe from my evil clutches, dickhead. I like him too, he's a sweetheart." I was annoyed with Dave, because what did he fucking think I was going to do to the kid? Debauch him and desert him? "What's with you anyway?" My curiosity was aroused. My brother was awfully protective of a boy he'd only met yesterday.

Dave sighed. "I like him," he repeated and looked me dead in the eye.

"What do you…oh. Oh." I stared back. "I didn't know that you were…um…" I was drowning here. In the middle of a high school hallway I was learning something about my brother that I never would have believed. Certainly never suspected.

"Neither did I," he told me, face miserable and mouth drooping.

I reached out and pulled him close, fuck whoever saw us, held him tight and his arms went around my waist as he buried his face in my shoulder. "Sorry. I have been an asshole." I whispered into scruffy hair.

"Yeah, that's okay. I just saw him yesterday and…" Dave stepped back, eyes a little red. "It hit me like a brick in between the eyes. It was like, oh, there you are, I've been waiting for you."

I smiled at him. "So that's why all the girlfriends have never worked out."

Dave shrugged. "Looks like it." We started walking to class and he said, "Now what do I do?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Wait until December for one, work on making him your friend for another."

"He hates me." Dave grumbled and I started laughing.

"Could you sound more like a teenaged girl?" He tackled me and knuckled me in my arm. I yelped and ran and he chased me down the hallway, threatening me with murder and the calls of various students followed us.

The Cage was a scary place. It didn't strike me as somewhere school kids should hang around but they were there in their masses. We pulled up in my junker and looked at the warehouse where strobe lighting pierced through the ceiling and sank neon knives into the night sky.

Alli had called shotgun and that left my two Davids in the back seat. They had been silent for the first few minutes and then I had smiled to myself when I heard them whispering to each other and then start talking animatedly. I didn't eavesdrop. Dave had to do his own spade work.

"This is not what I was expecting." I declared as we stood at the door and looked up.

The door opened and a large guy stepped out. "We're full," he told us.

I opened my mouth to protest but Dave shouldered me out of the way. "We're friends of Danny and Mike. They're expecting us. Tell them Cook is here."

The bouncer looked down at us. Perhaps I should have worn something a little less conservative. "Wait here." He disappeared inside and we all looked at each other. A few minutes later he came back out again and motioned for us to enter.

The bass hit me first like a gut shot. I almost lost my breath. Then the writhing bodies and strobe lights took my attention. I stood there. When I had been growing up, there had been nothing like this. Of course, I had been the least popular person at school so there could have been, but this…this was a revelation.

I looked at the band on the stage, Goth rock and punk leather and I felt a sonic boom reverberate in my chest. This. This. This was what I was meant for. Twenty-seven years old and I had found my calling. I turned to look at Dave who was looking down at Archie. His mouth was open and astonished and I could see my brother fighting the temptation to haul him close and keep him there.

Alli was bouncing on her feet and grinning. "Oh. My. God. This is like the most seriously un-fucking-believable thing ever!" And she was gone. Spear piercing the mass of flesh and vanishing into the dark.

Dave tapped my shoulder. "This is intense."

I nodded absently, eyes riveted on the lead singer who was decked out in PVC and leather and feathers, with black nail polish, eyes rimmed with kohl and bright red lips. "Yeah."

"Adam?" Archie stood next to me, sort of sandwiched between Dave and I.

I looked down at him. His eyes were wide and nervous. "What's up, Archie?"

"I don't really like this kind of thing. I mean, my gosh…these people are sort of scary." Archie's voice trembled a bit and I looked at Dave who shrugged. Somehow, this place didn't scare me. For the first time, I felt like I belonged somewhere. "Adam." Archie persisted and I felt impatient and uncharacteristically wanted to shake him off and move on.

"I'll look after him, bro. You go do your thing." Dave spoke into my ear and I could see that he understood my impatience, my need to move. "Go." He could see that I was feeling this strange and wonderful place right down into the depths of my soul. I nodded my thanks and moved towards the band.

When I got there, in front of the stage and looked up, I realized that the lead singer was actually Kris, our teacher. Something stirred in me, hot and wicked and full as I stared at him. He caught my gaze and his eyes widened briefly and then stayed on me, watchful, hungry. I stood there. Still and caught by the blaze in his eyes.

They finished their set and called a break. Kris hopped off the stage and came towards me, bottle of water in hand. Up close, he was even more gorgeous and I felt my breath stutter.

He smiled, slow and dangerous and commented, "I'm surprised to see someone like you at a place like this, Adam."

I felt insulted, although it wasn't really surprising that he thought of me like that. I was a bit of a standout here among the sea of black and gray in my chinos and cardigan. I suddenly wanted to be dressed in leather and PVC and wearing eyeliner and being fierce. The thought made me a little terrified, but in a good way.

"I came with some friends." I waved towards the back of the club where Dave and Archie were huddled in one corner, talking earnestly. "We heard about this place and wanted to see what it was all about."

His red mouth curved again and I found myself mesmerized by the full lower lip that just begged to be kissed and nipped and …

"…should go." I had missed a conversation.

"Pardon me. I couldn't hear you." Acceptable excuse in this place right? His smirk told me otherwise.

He leaned close, spoke into my ear, "I said, Archie doesn't look happy, you should go." His face was so close to mine, breath warm against my cheek. If I turned just a little… Then he stepped back and smiled at a petite blond woman who came up to us. "Hi, honey." She was adorable with perfect skin and perfect hair and I hated her on sight.

"It is a mad house in the ladies rest room," she informed us, laughing.

Kris motioned to me. "Katy, this is one of my students, Adam. He's transferred in from California and has also joined Glee Club."

She held out her hand and I shook it sullenly, into the whole teenager act. "You look normal at least, unlike this freak of mine here!"

She hugged Kris and he grinned. "I don't think she knew what she was getting when she started going out with me." I controlled the gag reflex. He might look like hard rock but he was really soft marshmallow. Talk about false advertising. Oh dear lord, the inner bitch was out in full force. I needed to get away from him.

"I'm going to go join Dave and Archie." I smiled briefly and insincerely at Katy. "Nice to meet you." I glanced over at Kris who was frowning a little at me. "See you in class on Monday, Mr. Allen." Yeah, he got that I wasn't being nice. I fled back to my posse.

Archie was cuddled up to Dave but as soon as he saw me, he rushed to my side and fastened himself there like a limpet. Dave glared at me and I raised my eyebrows at him. This wasn't my fault. Just then, Danny and Mike came over with a giggling Allison and I saw that she had been drinking. I wanted to say something cutting to the two jocks but couldn't breathe I was so angry.

Dave did the talking for us. "Assholes, she's sixteen. She shouldn't be drinking. None of you should!"

Danny smirked a bit and replied, "It's just a little beer, dude, won't do her any harm." The lack of concern in his expression sent my blood boiling and I stepped forward. Dave put an arm on my shoulder, held me back. Alli chose that moment to turn green and flee for the rest room. Danny started laughing and I lost it. I had never hit anyone in anger in my whole life, but I made a fist and let fly and Danny hit the floor like a sack of potatoes. Mike stopped laughing and turned to me aggressively, fists up and was met by both Dave and I ready to fight.

He stopped, looked at us. Maybe he was a better person than Danny because he just bent down and helped his friend up. Danny glared at me, nose gushing blood. "You bwoke by dose!" He accused.

I shrugged. "Take it as payback for giving me a concussion and a split lip." I waited, hand throbbing, but ready, and Mike just murmured something to Danny and half dragged, half carried him out of the club.

Megan came out of the ladies room with a pale and shaky Allison. "I think our little friend has had enough fun for the night," she told us and I nodded. I picked Allison up; she weighed hardly more than a feather and headed for the door.

"Everything alright here?" Kris was at my elbow and I looked down at him.

"All under control." I assured him and continued on my way, Dave and Archie at my heels.

The night air was cool and the noise from the club was muted. I carefully deposited Alli in the back seat and strapped her in. Dave jumped in next to her and Archie got into the front seat, next to me. I only realized then that Kris was still with us.

"You'd better not take her home in that condition. Follow me to my place and she can sober up a bit before you head home." Without waiting for our agreement he went to his car, a Mustang, and flashed his lights.

I looked back at Dave, who shrugged. "Don't ask me. Follow the teach," he instructed. So I gritted my teeth and obeyed. I wanted to moan about being a grown-up but of course, to Kris, I wasn't. I was a stupid kid who had allowed his friend to do a stupid kid thing.

Kris pulled up in the driveway of a small house, white picket fence included, of fucking course, and ushered us inside. Allison was awake and mumbling and Kris poured her some water and gave her a couple of aspirin and she obediently swallowed them. Archie sat with me on the sofa, pressed up against me and I could feel Dave glaring holes in my head. Honestly, I was not responsible for anyone's actions but my own and this was getting a little annoying.

I jumped up and went to crouch by Alli, brushing her hair back. "Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?"

She looked at me through her bangs, eyes bleary. "Don't feel so good, but the room isn't spinning anymore so that's a plus."

I grinned, relieved. "Glad to hear it." I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Kris.

"She should be okay. It looks like she didn't have too much." He told Alli, "Now you know why you should wait until you're twenty one to drink, Miss Alli." Her weak smile was his reward.

"Don't worry, Kris, I won't be drinking ever again." Her fervent statement made me laugh. That promise would not last long.

"Okay, hon, let's get you home." I held out a hand and helped her to her feet. She swayed a bit and subsided against me as I glanced at Kris. "Thanks, Mr. Allen, I appreciate the assist."

His face went a bit dark and he replied, "It's Kris." I felt a little shiver of pleasure. He wasn't completely immune to me. That was good to know. I filed it away to think about later.

"Sorry. Kris." I was being a bit mean, but he had a girlfriend so all arguments were invalid. He was not batting for my team. I felt entitled to sulk for a while.

I think he bared his teeth at me. Dave and Archie followed us back out of the house and we said our goodbyes and headed out. Alli was almost sober by the time they reached her house. She waved us goodbye from her door and we drove off.

Dave asked, "Do you want to go and get a burger or something? It's still pretty early." I looked over at Archie, who nodded enthusiastically.

"I-hop or Burger King?" I asked.

"There's a really nice diner just down the road. They make the best burgers in town." Archie offered and I grinned.

"The diner it is then," and followed Archie's instructions. The diner was an old-fashioned chrome and paint place with plastic booths and bright red bar stools hunkered up by the counter. The disinterested waitress looked about a hundred years old and placed menus in front of us. We all ordered burgers with the works and sodas. I was delighted to see the old-fashioned soda fountain perched on the corner of the service counter and in the furthest part of the diner was a real juke box. I held out a hand to Dave who handed me some coins and I went over to make my selection. Soon "We Will Rock You" by Queen was blaring and the three of us were sitting in our booth, grinning at each other and singing along.

"I think I need a make-over." I declared and Dave looked at me, headed tilted slightly in question. "Tonight, when I saw that band, heard that music, tonight, it all made sense to me."

Dave asked, "What do you need from me?"

I smiled, no questions from my brother, just immediate help offered. "You need to take me to shops where I can find the clothes and shoes and the rest of the stuff."

Archie piped up, "But that's so different from how you look, Adam. Are you sure you should make such a drastic change?"

I looked at his earnest face. "Yeah. I've been hiding for too long, Archie. It's time for me to become who I was meant to be. I have found my place." Dave and I exchanged a look and my brother just blinked and smiled. He was on board.

"So, we go shopping tomorrow?" Dave asked. He hated it but was prepared to sacrifice for me. I nodded.

"Can I come too?" Archie asked and I froze. How was I going to explain to this kid why I had credit cards and money and…oh, right, I was rich thanks to Dave's stories about me.

"Sure, Archie. I hope you don't get bored though." He shook his head vigorously.

"No! I mean, I think it would be fun."

"Yeah, fun, like pulling teeth." Dave muttered but he grinned at me to let me know he was joking. We finished eating and took Archie home.

"He's a cool kid." I told Dave who nodded and sighed.

"Kid being the operative word, bro. No matter how awesome I think he is, he's eight years younger than me and still legally unavailable." Dave sounded despondent. It wasn't the brother I knew.

"It's only a few months and then he's legal and you can make your move. He's not exactly straight, not with the way he hangs on me." Archie frustrated me. I wasn't interested, but wasn't sure how to get that across without hurting those terribly fragile feelings. "He's going to have a tough time dealing with his sexuality. In this part of the world being gay is hard. Ask me, I know. And as for you, your whole life is going to change." I glanced over at him, slumped against the car seat. "You've been straight all your life and now you've fallen for a boy. It's gonna be an uphill battle for you, bro."

Dave groaned, "I hate that we have to be in these boxes." He rubbed his eyes with his fingers and sighed. "I just wanted to help you get your job done because you were so fucking useless at school and what happens? I turn gay."

I started laughing. "You're such an asshole. You don't turn gay, dickhead. You just found out that sexuality is fluid and that you find people of both sexes attractive. It makes you bi-sexual. Not gay."

Dave mumbled, "Still, going back to school to find out something like that after twenty five years on this earth is a little terrifying. Also, it's sort of embarrassing, not knowing stuff about myself, you know?"

"Yeah, but you've got me. I've been through it all already." I patted his knee.

"And you've got me to help you turn into the coolest rocker type dude so that you can convince your hot as fuck teacher that he's actually in lust with you." Dave grinned slyly at me.

I stopped the car outside our apartment and turned to him. "I am not changing my look just to get into his pants."

Dave shrugged and opened the door. "Whatever. You carry on telling yourself that you don't have a hard-on for the guy and I'll carry on believing that the moon landing was a hoax." I shoved at him and the two of us wrestled our way inside. Matt shouted at us to shut up.

Saturday dawned bright and shiny and Archie called, begging off due to a family 'thing'. I was both guilty and relieved as Dave and I set out for Los Angeles. The clothes I was looking for would not be found in Compton, we needed the big city. I drove and Dave put his seat back and slept the whole way. I spent far too much time in my own head, thinking about Kris and my new image and what the reaction would be to it all.

We stopped at Tomatino for the first leg of my transformation. The head stylist, a cute, thin guy with a shock of platinum hair and a black fringe called, unsurprisingly, Tommy, guided me to my seat and promised that I was in good hands. I told him that I wanted to look different.

Dave said, "Make him look like a cross between Pete Wentz and Gerard Way meets Edward Cullen from Twilight." I stared at him in horror. "Trust me, bro, I know what I'm talking about."

Tommy grinned, a baring of teeth that made me think of a wolf, and me being a rabbit. "Gotcha," he replied and sent me to the basin to have my hair washed.

Three hours later, we staggered out, manicured, pedicured, made up and done up to the nines. Tommy had instructed his pretty little assistant to deal with Dave and I had received his undivided attention. My nails were painted black; I had eyeliner and mascara to match and my hair… I resembled an anime character; my hair was gelled into a shock of spikes, dyed black and dusted with electric blue streaks. I looked…fuck…I looked amazing.

Now I needed to get the clothes to match my hair and face and grow the attitude and cajones to pull it off. Dave promised that he would spend the weekend teaching me how to act how I looked.

Cue the montage…We hit every men's clothing store in town, and some of the ladies stores as well. Dave sat and watched me trying on outfits like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, only I wasn't a hooker, I was gay. I bought leather and metal and silk and cotton and denim in every shade of black and blue and purple and even a little plaid. Trust me, it worked, especially with the skin-tight girl jeans that Dave made me buy. And the tight black vest to wear under it. I was in heaven and until this day, I hadn't known what I was missing.

It was at the shoe store that Dave said, "I think we have found your calling, dude. You were born to shop."

I stood there in my brand new black boots, hands full of shoes and said, "You know something, you're totally right." We grinned at each other, completely in sync.

So, by the end of the day, I was kitted out like a rock star, clothes, accessories, shoes, product, everything Dave could think of and a few things that occurred to him while we were shopping. I was also completely broke and my credit card was maxed out like a motherfucker but I looked unbelievable. I kept looking at myself in passing windows in shock.

We headed back to Compton, talking all the way, Dave about what to do now that he had discovered that Archie had accidentally triggered his gay and me about how to activate the gorgeous Kris Allen's latent love for me. I had a feeling that there was already an attraction. I was hoping. Desperately.

"But he has a girlfriend," I whined and Dave shot me a glare.

"So what? I've had a bunch of girlfriends and didn't stop me from falling fast and hard for Archie."

I mumbled, "You're a man-whore, though."

"I heard that." Dave reached over and dug a finger into my side. I was extremely ticklish and arched my body away from the tormenting digit and nearly drove into the ditch at the side of the road.

"Fuck off, Cook!" I yelped, "You're going to get us killed!"

Dave pointed at me. "I am your mentor, your guru, your guide to being cool. Best you be nice, big brother."

I grinned at him and he grinned back. "You're still a man-whore."

"Better than being a virgin," he retorted and then I nearly drove off the road again trying to get at him.

Sunday was a day from hell for me. Dave was a slave driver. He made me listen to Bowie, Queen, Iggy Pop and every glam rocker who ever lived and then made me sing their songs. Matt added his two cents in, playing some of the songs on his portable keyboard, teaching me the rhythms and flows of the tunes and I found out that I actually liked that style of music. I could totally hit some of those crazy notes. Just call me Glambert.

Then they showed me some of the performance videos on the net and I was blown away. If I could pull this off then the career I had been hankering after my whole life would be a reality. I could feel it. My niche, twenty seven years down the road, was in a decade before I was born. Who would have thought?

Dave made me strut and slink and perform in my new clothes until he was satisfied with how I looked, how I spoke, how I moved. Then, at around ten pm that night he declared, "You are going to be the fiercest bitch who ever walked those school halls. And your pretty teacher is going to fucking freak out when he sees you."

I looked over at them, we were all sprawled out on the sofa in the living room, beers in hand, and exhausted. "I'm not doing this to get that guy, you know."

Matt's mouth tipped up in a smirk. "You keep telling yourself that, Barbra. I know the truth." Dave snorted into his bottle and I kicked out at him with a pointy-toed boot.

He yelped as it connected with his ankle. "First and foremost, I am doing this for myself. With this make-over, I'll be able to portray the image of a musician and then maybe I can move out of producing music and actually performing it." I raised a second finger. "Secondly, I want to be more assertive, more confident and this look, fuck, it makes me a rock star and no one is going to mess with that." He opened his mouth and I wagged a third finger at him. "Third, I look fucking amazing and maybe that will get me the man of my dreams."

Dave tipped his beer at me in salute. "I like those reasons. I always thought you had potential, but you've spent all your life hiding behind your weight and your hair and your freckles. You never allowed yourself to see all your possibilities." He smiled, genuine and warm. "I'm very proud to call you my brother, always have been, but now, at least you match the hotness that is me."

I laughed, drinking the last of the now flat ale. "If I can pull this off tomorrow, then, yeah, I'll be as cool as you."

Dave shook his head. "Big bro, you may be hot now, but face it, you'll never be as cool as me."

"Yeah, you're right. No one could ever be as cool as you, Dave, even if you do have a really big head. In real life, I mean, your head is rather large. For a human head." I put my bottle down and ran, laughing my ass off as he chased me through the apartment. Matt finished both our beers.


	2. Chapter 2

Day Six:

 

_I think that this was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's like all the bad memories of school are being washed away by the awesome new ones. I am a god now. Too cool for school. Micah, eat your heart out. This could all have been yours. Glambert for the win!_

Monday was a revelation. I walked into school, in my new duds, with my new 'tude and they all fell in love with me. Seriously. Men, women, boys, girls, babies and animals, all wanted the amazingness that was the all-new, improved, Adam Lambert.

Allison and Archie circled me like butterflies, touching and stroking and oohing. I just smiled. Danny and Mike invited me to sit with the football team at lunch. As if. I had seen 'Clueless' and 'Never Been Kissed' and I was not going to be the ugly duckling turned swan who turned my back on the people who liked me for me.

Except for Kris. When I walked into Music class that morning, he looked at me, glanced up and down and a little sneer crossed that pretty mouth and then he ignored me. Megan practically sat on my lap and Allison actually did as we tried to focus on the lesson. The giggling obviously became too much for our teacher because he ordered the girls to stay in their chairs and stop playing with their new toy. This made them laugh even harder and Dave spun around to look at me, eyebrows raised in question. I shook my head; I didn't have a clue either. But I was going to find out.

We didn't have Glee Club on Mondays but I waited until after school, when the classrooms were empty and the halls were ghost bare and went to find the object of my desire. He was putting some of the instruments away in the music closet and I leaned against the doorway, admiring the stretch and pull of his shirt across his back and his pants against his ass. A mighty fine ass it was and I made a little hum of appreciation which he heard.

His eyes weren't friendly when they met mine. They were empty and I fiercely wanted something to show there, even if it was disdain or disapproval. So I stepped into the classroom and closed the door behind me, snicking the lock closed with a loud click. His eyes widened briefly and he said, "Unlock the door, Adam."

I shook my head slowly and walked towards him. It might have actually been a stalk but he stood his ground. He was the adult here, of course. "No. I wanted to talk to you. In private."

He stepped back and tried to step around me, but I was bigger than him and stopped him with the heat of my body and he glared at me. "This is inappropriate. I am your teacher. Now, either you open the door, or I will."

I stepped closer, crowding him up against his desk until the backs of his thighs bumped the edge and he stopped. "I don't think so. I just want to know one thing and then I'll unlock the door and let you escape."

He was trying so hard to be the figure of authority but I could see the little pulse fluttering in his neck and wanted to set my teeth there and mark him as my property, but I didn't. "What…um…what do you want to know?" He asked, his voice a little ragged and I felt my own pulse racing.

I lowered my head until my mouth was at his ear. Where I had the courage from I don't know, perhaps I was channeling Dave, and whispered, "Why don't you like the way I look today?" My voice was rough and breathy and I felt the shiver he tried to control as my question flitted across his cheek.

He cleared his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I smiled, a nasty smile that should have warned him his answer wasn't enough. "That didn't answer my question, teach." I moved nearer, my body full length against his, and his eyes widened when he felt just how happy I was to see him. "Tell me the truth. What don't you like about how I look?"

His hands came up then, curled around my arms and he tried to push me away. I wasn't budging. "Adam. Let me go. Please." The words were a plea, an order; an invitation and I bent down and took.

Kissing Kris was like stepping into the middle of a tornado and being swept up and whirled around and spat out the other side, broken and gasping and so fucking happy to be alive. His mouth was soft and sweet, lips full and I feasted. I hadn't done a lot of kissing, I hadn't done much more than kissing, but this man, made me wish for experience and ability and … he wasn't moving.

"I'm sorry." My voice was hoarse as I moved away. He hadn't done anything, hadn't kissed me back and I felt the scarlet rush of blood coating my neck and cheeks. I turned and raced to the door, fumbled with the lock and fled; ignoring him calling my name as I ran down the corridor, out into the sun-gold brightness of the afternoon. My own world had just come apart but everything else around me had stayed the same.

I struggled to get the key in the ignition and felt the sharp bite of panic when I saw Kris coming out of the school building at a run. God. Fuck. Start. Fuck. God. And my old faithful cranked into life and I threw the wheel in a dangerous circle and skidded out of the parking lot, looking back once to see Kris watching me run away.

That went well. Glambert obviously was a danger to himself and society at large and should only be let out for special occasions.

 

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Seven:

Why do I have a brother that won't let me hide when I am humiliated? Why do I have a best friend who buys me ice-cream to cheer me up and then eats it all himself? Why am I asking myself these stupid questions? Because it's easier than facing the truth.

I have a sick note from my 'dad'. I am not going to school today. Dave spent half the night laughing at me and the other half whining about his own lack of success. What a pair we are. I have visions of us with pipes and slippers and smelly dogs about thirty years down the line. Matt told us that we were both losers. I think he might be right.

Oh God. Why did I ever want to change my image? I was fine as me. I have a great career… okay, maybe not great, but at least I have a foot in the door and one day I will have that great career. Doorbell ringing. Will return to wallowing shortly…

"Why didn't you come to school today?" Kris stood at my door, hands shoved into his front pockets, shoulders slightly hunched, face unreadable.

"I don't …" I was stunned and stuttered, "I don't feel too good." He raised one eyebrow and looked at me. I shrugged. "My stomach." I had nothing else to say.

He pushed past me and walked into my apartment. His gaze took in the half eaten pizza on the table as well as the open laptop with my …fuck! I rushed to slam it shut before he could take a look. That would have been the icing on my already fucked-up cake.

His eyes were narrowed on me. "We need to talk about what happened yesterday." He looked around. "Are your parents home?"

I shook my head. "No. I live here with a couple of friends. My parents are in California." Not a lie. "They think that I'm old enough to take care of myself."

Kris frowned. "That's not a usual set of circumstances."

I smiled. Tried to anyway. "Matt is out of school and working, besides, my parents trust me." Again with the honesty. About my parents trusting me anyway, although after this stunt, I don't think they ever would again.

Kris went to the sofa and sat down. "We need to talk," he repeated and I dragged my way to the chair opposite him. I was itching to invent some kind of contagious disease just so that I could get him out of my apartment and be able to compose myself.

I scowled at him. "There's nothing to talk about. I was a dumb kid yesterday. I was playing dress-up and the character took over."

Kris cocked his head to one side, watching me intently. "So, none of that was you? You didn't want to kiss me?"

I stared at him incredulously. "Seriously, Kris? You want to have this conversation? You're my teacher. I can't remember being more embarrassed in my entire life." I could feel the skin on my neck and cheekbones heating up.

Kris grinned slightly. "I promise that before you're my age, there will be plenty more humiliating moments." He leaned forward, hands clasped between his legs. "It's natural to have a crush on a teacher. It's all part of the growing up process."

I tried to restrain the eye-rolling but obviously wasn't too successful because he huffed a bit and sat back. "I don't have a crush on you, teach. I was experimenting." I suddenly had a brilliant idea. "I was testing out reactions to my new look. When you saw me, you looked at me like I was shit under your shoe and I just wanted to prove a point. Maybe I went a bit overboard."

Kris stayed skeptical. "Yeah, kissing your teacher, just a bit."

I shook my head. "I am really sorry. That will never happen again." I had my fingers crossed under my thigh. Totally acceptable lie this time. I was so going to kiss him again. If he ever forgave me once this stupid charade was over.

"It was really inappropriate." Kris tried again. Good teacher. "If anyone had seen…" he trailed off and I sighed.

"Kris. Please, just stop. It was a moment of madness that won't happen again. I swear to God. Stupid mistake, over excited about my make over. Take your pick." Then I grinned. "Besides, you're totally my type."

Kris flushed and jumped to his feet. "Er…thanks?" He headed for the door and I stalked, I mean followed after him. "Just so we're clear about it then." He stopped, hand on the doorknob.

I crowded up behind him, deliberately getting into his space and felt a sort of mean satisfaction when I saw him take a deep breath. "Totally. Crystal. Like glass." I assured him and smiled, all my teeth showing.

He opened the door and turned to me one more time. "No more pretending you're sick. I'll see you in class tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Sure. My stomach feels better already." We smiled at each other briefly and I admired the view as he headed down the passage to the elevator.

"And don't stare at my ass." He called. I grinned. Busted. It was an ass worth staring at.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Eight:

Simon was delighted with my report on the scene at The Cage but when I asked if I could go back to real life. He said no. I need a new job. Fuck my life.

Dave is moping around like a love-sick puppy. It's nauseating. The only good thing is that Archie jumps like a scalded bunny every time Dave comes anywhere near him. I'll wear my old clothes tomorrow, maybe that will stop me from jumping my teacher. I think I'm going to distract myself with a little match-making. Just call me Cinderfella. Wait, she was the heroine. I guess that makes me the Fairy Godfather…

Archie played possum most of the day, ducking behind me or Allison every time Dave was around. My new best girl friend and I got tired of the sad little drama pretty quickly.

I grabbed hold of Archie and held his shoulders firmly. "Listen to me, Archuleta. This has to stop. If you don't like Dave, then tell him and he'll go away. This act of yours is pathetic. Man up, my boy."

Archie looked up at me, all big eyes and terror. "But, he scares me."

I grinned. "That's because you like him." I slung a friendly arm around his shoulder. "Does your stomach feel like a swarm of butterflies are flying around in it?" He nodded as we walked towards our Bio class. "If he's not around, do you find yourself looking around for him?" Those brown eyes were wide and earnest as he nodded again. "That's a sign that you like him." I smiled down at him.

"But...but he's a guy!" Archie sounded scandalized and I sighed. Why me? I was barely coping with my own case of unrequited love and now I had to help a seventeen year old negotiate the realization that he was not a girl's guy after all.

"So? Who says that you only have to like girls?" I asked as we headed slowly for the classroom. "Sexuality is a fluid thing, my young friend. Just because he's a guy, doesn't mean you can't like him in that way."

Archie stared at me, torn between confusion and understanding. "I like you," he told me.

I shook my head. "The question is, do you want to kiss me?" The look on his face was answer enough and I laughed and asked, "Would you like Dave to kiss you?" His expression was thoughtful and I decided that I had done enough of my brother's work for him today and left Archie contemplating all the possibilities.

Ms. Abdul, Paula as she told us to call her, was waxing lyrical about the reproductive abilities of fruit bats and I tuned out. I had to think of something more to give Simon to work with or else my job was history. I glumly contemplated being stuck in a repeat of my entire last year of high school. I glanced over at Dave who was sitting next to Archie, trying hard not to stare at him. Archie was not even trying to concentrate on the lesson. His gaze was fixed on Dave's mouth. Dave had a panicked look on his face and was studiously ignoring the fascinated stare. I just started laughing and couldn't stop. Paula made me stay after class and clean the blackboard. It was worth it.

I wandered into the boys' locker room after gym class. I hadn't totally humiliated myself on the track but I was not a fan of anything that involved sweating on a field. Or perhaps I just hadn't discovered an activity that involved sweating on a field that interested me. I was the last one in because I was the last one to finish my laps. I was greeted by the sight of Archie leaning against Dave, offering him his mouth. I ducked back behind the lockers and peered through the slats in the door.

"What are you doing, David?" My brother's voice was an octave higher than normal and I had to shove my fist in my mouth to prevent the laughter escaping.

Sweet, innocent little Archie pressed against him, hands trailing up his arms and squeezing around his biceps, replied softly, "Trying to get you to kiss me?" The statement ended like a question and Dave frowned down at him.

"Why?" He sounded rough and a bit desperate.

"What do you mean, why?" Archie looked confused. I didn't blame him. If I wasn't so fixated on Kris, this adorable, soft-voiced, angelic boy with the 'fuck-me' mouth would have been irresistible. "Because I want you to." As if that all made sense, which of course it did.

Dave's hands were still at his side and he lifted them, probably intending on pushing Archie away, but somehow, his fingers found the soft skin of Archie's cheek and stayed there, trailing across his nose and down to the full curve of his mouth. "Why me? I thought you liked Adam." My usually self-assured brother sounded nervous, insecure and I prayed that Archie would say the right things.

"I did, I mean, I do." Archie rested his forehead against Dave's chest, breathing deeply. "But I don't want to kiss him." He lifted his head again, focused on Dave. "I want to kiss you."

That seemed to do it for Dave, who wrapped his arms around Archie and hauled him close. I had to step back and away when they started kissing. It was sweet and hot and private. And Archie was only seventeen so I made a banging noise against one of the lockers and when I came around the corner, they were standing apart, breathing deeply and staring in shock at each other.

I asked, "So, does this mean you're going steady?"

It was immediately apparent to everyone in Glee club that David and David were a couple. I had spent about half an hour lecturing Dave about the fact that the boy didn't know he was twenty five and that it was illegal in every state for him to do anything other than kiss him. The dazed, starry-eyed expression on his face told me that he had heard about four words of mine and that I was going to have to watch them like a hawk. I didn't want to be a chaperone!

Kris looked between the two of them with a small grin on his face. Then he looked at me and I found myself blushing. The expression on his face was a little feral. I cursed my pale freckled skin and tried to concentrate on working out the kinks in the Queen duet with Archie.

"Guys, gather round." Kris called us all to the piano and we made our way to him. He smiled and said, "I've entered us for next week's sectionals. It's a tough ask, but with Adam and Dave, I think we have the strongest crew we've had in years and have a real chance at making regionals, maybe even nationals." He looked around at us and I could feel my heart sinking. I could not be a part of this. The Compton High Glee Club would be disqualified if Dave and I participated in a school contest and it was found out that we were adults with high school diplomas. We couldn't do this. I caught Dave's eye and read the same panic there. This was bad.

We waited until the rest of the club cleared out, Archie leaving reluctantly and promising to wait for Dave at his car.

"Um, Dave and I won't be able to take part in the sectionals next week." I decided that the direct approach would be the best.

Kris blinked and asked, "Why not?"

Think, Lambert! "We won't be here." Perfect.

Kris raised an eyebrow. "And where will you be?" The question was drawled and I nearly grinned at the skepticism.

"In California." Dave supplied and I glanced over at him. "We have a Scientology thing we need to get done with." I did the mental eye roll and turned to Kris again.

"A Scientology thing?" I really didn't blame his doubt. Dave lied better than me, but it was still a pretty spectacularly bad lie.

"Yeah, um…Adam has to perform at a concert at the Center in Los Angeles. For Tom…" Oh dear lord in heaven he had to be the dumbest ass that ever lived.

"Tom?" Kris asked.

"Cruise." Dave supplied helpfully and I wanted to drop my head into my hands and weep. Lamest, dumbest, most ridiculous lie ever in the history of the world. "He loves Adam's voice so asked him to come and do the show. I'm just going along to see my family." He shrugged. "Sorry."

Kris nodded slowly, eyes speculative. I could see that he was still not convinced but I grabbed Dave's arm and dragged him out with me before the lie got any bigger or stupider.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I hissed as we headed out of the school.

"He caught me off guard. I was thinking on the fly," Dave replied defensively and I shook my head.

"You realize that we're going to have to leave town for a few days?" I asked.

"Yeah." Dave said glumly and then his eyes lit up when he spotted Archie slouching against his car. "Road trip?" he asked and I laughed.

"We can do that. Only, your bright and shiny new boyfriend is going to be busy with the sectionals so he won't be able to come." I said this with relish and Dave's face fell.

"Right." And then Archie was in his arms and kissing him and I just sighed and headed for my car.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Nine:

I would just like to state for the record that my boss is an asshole. He's ordered me to do the Glee Club thing. I've tried explaining that it's ILLEGAL but he's not listening to me. The thing is, I can't do it to Kris and the kids in the club. It's their sanctuary from the rest of the hell of school and if Dave and I screw this up and they get penalized then I will be the biggest douche bag that ever lived.

I will just have to find another story to keep Simon happy. Hey, maybe I can ask Kris if I can sing with his band on Friday at The Cage. I look the part now…

Thursday I decided to try another of my new outfits. It was obvious that the attitude had changed along with the clothes so I might as well dress the part.

Skin tight black denims, a tight black shirt (did wonders for that damn spare tire around my belly) and the blue and plaid shirt, finished with a black studded belt and chunky black boots. I decided to put on the eyeliner and mascara as well and my hair decided to play nice, spiky and cool.

I looked for Kris before my first class started. He was busy in the music room, tinkering on the piano, a sweet, slow melody that I recognized but couldn't place. I knocked softly on the door and he looked up and just for a moment, his eyes were unguarded and he looked delighted to see me.

I smiled at him and he waved me in. "Hey, Adam. I don't think it's your class now."

I shook my head, still smiling. "It's not. I'm due in Chem. in about five minutes. I just came to ask you a favor."

"Okay. Ask away."

"I wanted to know if you would be willing to let me sing with you tomorrow night at The Cage." I saw the frown starting and hurried on. "I just want to sing a song or two. It's sort of a wish fulfillment thing. To sing with a band."

Kris asked, "But I thought you did concerts with the Scientologists?"

I recovered quickly. "Not like this though. I want the whole band experience in a club. I haven't done that before and I really think that it's something I will enjoy. You know, to go with the whole new me?"

Kris tipped his head to one side. "I don't know that this is your scene though."

I nodded. "That's okay. I realize that I may come across as vanilla and not rocky road but I really want a chance to try to get myself out of this …" I was struggling because this was more than just me trying to get a story for Simon, more than trying to impress my guy-crush. It was me trying to find out where I fit in and I had a strange feeling that I fit on a stage, with a Goth-rock band behind me, belting out songs to make the skies scream. And Kris was the only one who could give me a chance to find it out.

Kris was just watching me. I wanted desperately to tell him who I was and what I was and that I was utterly fascinated by him but I didn't because it would alienate him and the last thing I wanted was him looking at me in disgust.

"Please. Just one song." I begged him and I saw the slope of his shoulders answer me before the rough response.

"One song. And if they hate you…" his warning was valid but suddenly, the only thing on my mind was getting on that stage and fucking the audience until they were all in the palm of my hand. Maybe it was the clothes, perhaps a new confidence thanks to my brother, could even have been the validation from the members of the Glee Club. Regardless of the cause, I was sure that performing at The Cage was going to be the beginning of the rest of my life.

"If they hate me, then I'll have my answer and won't try it again." I stared at him, trying to will him to see inside me, to see that there was more to me than this student he was so intent on avoiding. "But if they love me…" I smiled and could feel the heat curl in my belly. "If they love me, then I'll know that this is what I was meant to be." I could feel that it was my own personal truth, that maybe I had been sent back to school to find out who I was and what I could be. The thought that I had wasted nine years of my life fumbling around in the dark and in a dead end career made me feel a little ill, but hey, it was never too late to start the rest of your life.

** _The Journal of an Adult (reluctantly) in High School by Adam Lambert_ **

Day Ten:

I am done with this school thing. I called Simon today and told him to fire me but that I wasn't going back to school on Monday. There is only so much an adult can take of teenaged angst and drama. I have reached my own personal limit. I mentioned to Simon that I was going to be singing at The Cage tonight and he told me that if I reported back to him on the reaction to my voice and music, then I could come back. The question is, do I want to?

I wanted to dress to impress so called in Dave to help make sure I looked the part. He looked at what I had chosen and smiled. "You're a natural at this, bro. You don't need any help from me."

I felt a small measure of pleasure. I would never have believed that I could put outfits like this together. I pulled on the black leather pants and the tight white tee shirt. I slung a studded belt around my waist and put on the spiked boots that looked as though they were a deadly weapon. The last part of the outfit was the most expensive thing I had bought on my shopping spree the past weekend. It was a thigh length black leather coat, shot with strips of metal along the sleeves and the hemline. The shoulders were almost like armor and I looked like a warrior.

Dave helped me to put on the war paint that completed the outfit. Eyeliner and glitter and lip gloss and I was ready to take the stage. I looked good. For the first time in my life, I was secure enough to look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge that I looked good. It was almost too much to believe. The person I had become was so very far from the person I had been.

And fuck, it was all thanks to Simon's hare-brained idea, which meant that I actually had to make a success of it.

The Cage was a rocking, roiling mass when Dave and I arrived with Archie and Matt in tow. We had managed to persuade Allison to stay at home this time. It hadn't taken much, just the blunt reminder of her less than glorious exit from the club the week before.

This time, the bouncer took one look at me and stepped aside, opened the door and honest-to-god winked at me, Maybe I would get lucky tonight? That might be nice. But I was a romantic and the only one I wanted happened to be the most unavailable man on the planet for me right now.

There he was. My heart gave a little skip of glee and I moved to the stage, looking up at the glam rock god singing his face off up there. He made me ache and burn and need. God, I needed him and I couldn't have him and it was making me crazy. One thing I was learning about myself, I didn't do the waiting game very well. Now that I was the new me, I wanted and I reached out and I took. Except, I couldn't take here. I had to keep my distance and pretend that I was a good little boy and wasn't dying to fuck the cute little rocker throwing himself around on the stage.

Being me sucked lemons right now.

Then he saw me and that slow southern smile rolled across his face until I literally saw him remembering who I was and what I was and what age I was supposed to be and the 'fuck me' expression disappeared until he was just smiling at me and singing to me and I was melting into the floor like a regency novel heroine. I was pathetic.

"Hey everybody, we have a bit of a treat for y'all tonight." That lazy drawl took me by surprise and suddenly I realized that I was up and I had better get ready or else I was going to crash and burn even before I took off. "One of my students asked me for a favor He asked to sing a song or two for you guys here tonight. So I said yes. Come on up here, Adam." He motioned to me and I walked up the stairs on the side after a bit of rude prodding from my crew.

Kris shook my hand and gestured towards his band. "I'm gonna lend these guys to you for a bit, okay? Just tell them what you want to sing, I guarantee they'll know it." With one last encouraging smile, he headed down the stairs and joined Dave, Matt and Archie.

I looked over at the band and asked the guitarist, "Do you know "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley?" The quick grin was enough of a reply and he struck the first few chords.

"I remember, I remember, when I lost my mind..." And I took them and rolled them and made them all my bitches until they were screaming my name and chanting for more.

"You want another?" I asked, drenched with sweat and incandescent with exhilaration. The loud cheer from the crowd was my answer and I sang the opening words to "Mad World" and took them all apart and put them all back together again.

I ruled The Cage that night. I could have taken any one of them home with me, gay straight, man, woman but the only one I wanted was Kris and he just stood there, smiling proudly at me like he was my dad or something and I wanted to yell at him and tell him that I was actually older than him and totally crazy for him and beg him to kiss me again.

But I didn't. I jumped off the stage and motioned for my friends to head for the door. The hands stroked and grabbed, the voices begged and praised. I just wanted to get out of there and leave the insanity of the last two weeks behind me.

My last glimpse of Kris was him getting back on stage and shouting, "How 'bout that Adam Lambert, everyone?" And them all shouting back at him about how awesome I was. He was the awesome one. Only he didn't know it. But maybe some time in the future he would give me the chance to show him.

Then all hell broke loose. Matt and Dave were confronted by a big guy, tattooed and nasty and belligerent.  
"So who's the bottom and who's the top with you two girlies?" He was drunk and mean and I could see that he would take them both out if they responded.

Neither of them was particularly good about not responding in the face of taunting.

"Well, big boy, maybe you'd like to try being a bottom with one of us?" Matt's question had me dropping my head in exasperation. This is why I didn't go out with them. They always ended up dragging me into trouble of some sort.

The bully took a second or ten to process the insult and then his face turned red and he roared and swung at Matt, who ducked. The meaty fist collided with the face of someone standing next to Matt and only when I saw him go down did I realize it was Archie. Dave yelled in rage and dropped down next to Archie who was pretty much out of it. Matt dived at the big guy, using his shoulder as a spear and they went hurtling back. I raced over to Dave and Archie and when my brother saw that I had Archie in my care, he took off after them.

Archie mumbled and I hooked my arm underneath his shoulders and pulled him up against me. "What?" he asked and I looked down at his split lip and swollen jaw. Suddenly I wanted to be in the melee with my brother and friend. No one should ever hurt Archie like that. He was sweet and innocent and I found a growl emerging.

"That big asshole hit you instead of Matt." I motioned to the now full-on club fight and Archie's face was horrified.

"But...but Cook, he might get hurt!"

I rolled my eyes and held him back. "You stay right here, little man, Dave can handle himself."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Kris. "Maybe you should get Archie out of here?" he suggested and I nodded. That would be smart. I helped Archie to his feet and started hustling him out of the club. Close to the door I was knocked over by a flying body and I hit the floor with a thud. I could feel the bruises forming and grunted with the impact. A hand in my hair yanked my head back and I gasped as tears sprang to my eyes from the pain. I reared up and back and into a solid mass of muscle. The behemoth who was pulling out my hair squealed as I jabbed him in the gut with my elbow and I was reluctantly dragged into the fight. I caught Archie's frightened face out of the corner of my eye and worried about him for a second until a fist appeared in my vision and I ducked to avoid permanent disfigurement.

The fight lasted about ten minutes, although it felt like hours, until the police arrived and broke it up. They hauled Dave, Matt, me and a bunch of others into the station, including the thug who had started everything. I was sitting in the booking office when I saw Kris come in with Archie in tow and felt my heart sink. Kris spoke urgently with the desk officer who motioned towards us.

They headed our way and Kris asked, "Can I call your parents to arrange bail or something?" Dave and I exchanged glances. This was bad. We didn't need to have parents to come and bail us out. We'd already given our statements, along with our real identity documents and the police had been pretty accommodating. When Dave had explained how the fight started and that they had only responded to Archie being hit, the sergeant had nodded and told us that the owner of the club wasn't pressing charges and we could leave if we decided not to press charges on thug-boy ourselves. Dave, Matt and I had shared a look and all replied in the negative. This was an incident best forgotten.

"Um, thanks teach, but no-one here is pressing charges so we're good to go." I stood up and had to jump out of the way as Archie barreled into Dave. They held each other tightly and Dave dropped his head and whispered something urgently to Archie who nodded, smiled and then tucked his head into the hollow of Dave's neck. It looked like he was planning on staying there a while.

"Oh." Kris appeared nonplussed. "Well, that's good. So, can I give you a ride back to your car?"

Matt shook his head. "Thanks, man, but I am going to talk to that pretty little police lady over there. She's been giving me the eye all night." I grinned as my optimistic friend headed for the unsuspecting woman. Dave also declined, telling us that he was going to walk Archie home. My warning glare was completely ignored and I prayed that I wasn't going to be visiting the police station again in the near future, this time for the corruption of a minor. That left me.

I looked at Kris who smiled, tight and brief and said, "Thanks, I'd appreciate that." As we were leaving, the charge officer returned our documents to us and I stuffed my driver's license in my pocket swiftly. No sense in tempting fate.

Kris was silent most of the way back to the club. I babbled nervously as I tended to do when I was unsure in a situation. Actually, until this past weekend and my transformation from ugly duckling to glam rock swan, most situations made me nervous.

"I'm really grateful to you for doing this for me." I told his profile. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.

He sighed. "I'm your teacher, Adam. I was obligated as the adult there tonight to make sure you all got home safely." He stopped suddenly and a small grin crossed his mouth. "Is Archie safe with Dave?" he asked.

I shrugged, uncomfortably aware that I wasn't sure of the answer myself. "Dave knows that Archie is a minor. He won't do anything that will land him in jail." I hope, I thought to myself. With hormones and lust, sometimes common sense just flew out of the window.

"I'm glad we got this chance to talk." Kris said and I looked sharply at him. "I wanted to talk to you about that kiss and ..."

I groaned. "Please. Can we just not? I told you it was a heat of the moment thing and I am so very sorry that I did that." I dropped my head back on the car seat and closed my eyes.

The car stopped and Kris asked, "You know that a teacher and a pupil having a relationship, or even an encounter like we did, is grounds for my immediate dismissal?"

My eyes flew open and I stared at him. "For fuck's sake! Will you let it go? I kissed you, and no one but the two of us knows about it. Why are you harping on about it?"

Kris turned to me. "What if I told you that the feelings that I have for you are inappropriate? What if I said that since you kissed me, that's pretty much all I can think about? What if I wanted to do more than kiss you?"

My mouth was open but no sound was emerging. I was shocked into silence. "Um."

His mouth twisted a little as he looked at me. He turned his body to face me and stared. "Anything you want to say here?"

"I...I..." Nothing intelligent was presenting itself.

"I know this isn't a good idea. In fact, it's pretty much a spectacularly bad idea and I shouldn't even be talking to you about this. But, you're done with school in a couple of months and there are only a few years between us and I sort of hoped that maybe, in a few months, once you've graduated and I'm not your teacher anymore..."

I shut him up with my mouth. I pushed in and took. My tongue was a weapon that insisted on total control and he responded by opening up and giving me everything. I leaned forward and over him, my body overwhelmingly larger than his. He let me. My hands moved to his waist and pressed, the normally ticklish spots becoming pressure points that made him groan and move.

"Adam. Stop. We can't. Not until you're finished school." He had much more control than I did and he eased me back with firm hands. I sat back and was rewarded with a slow smile from kiss-swollen lips. I made a movement toward him again, but he held his hand up. "No."

I pouted a little. I had been enjoying myself. "Fine. Be noble and holy and whatever."

He grinned and then leaned down and picked something up from the floor. It was my driver's license. Shit, fuck, crap. He looked at it and then started to hand it to me. I was almost safe when he pulled back and looked down at it again. "Date of birth, January 29, 1982." He read it out and it sounded like an ax falling. He looked up at me, eyes confused. "Is this a fake ID, Adam?"

I had a moment there. Would I tell him a lie and carry on the masquerade, enjoying a few months, days, whatever with him and ultimately lose him when he finally discovered the truth, or tell him the truth and lose him now, before anything had even started?

"It's not a fake." I told him quietly and watched his face change, expression harden as he realized what I was telling him.

"What does that mean?" His voice was dark, puzzled and I felt a pang of remorse. This wasn't supposed to have happened.

"I'm twenty-seven years old and I am an executive at Cowell Records." I told him and watched him moving away from me in leaps and bounds.

"Why are you posing as a high school student?" He looked devastated and I was sick to my stomach knowing that I was the one responsible.

"It was a job that my boss forced me into on threat of firing. He had some lame-ass idea that the only way to learn about what kids are listening to these days was to send someone into the high schools. That ended up being yours truly." I was desperate to make things right with him.

"So you're an adult, with a job, and you've been fooling everyone at school for the past two weeks so that you can keep your job?" His summary was bitter and I could understand it completely.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I never meant things to get so complicated. It was supposed to be an easy thing, where I was supposed to stay under the radar and just find out stuff about what music the kids liked today. It got messy." I willed him to understand and forgive.

"I see." He was non committal and then leaned over me and popped the door. "I guess this is goodbye then." So forgiveness wasn't going to be granted.

I climbed out and then bent down, ducking my head back inside. "For what it's worth, what happened between us, it was real. I didn't pretend being into you." His face was blank, expressionless. "I swear to you, Kris. When I kissed you that was me. The real Adam. The adult Adam. Kissing you was as close to making love as anything has come in my life. If nothing else, you need to believe that." It was pathetic, admitting that to him, but I wanted him to know that what I felt about him was not fake.

"Goodbye Adam." He replied and pulled the door closed, almost cutting off my nose in the process. He put his car in gear and drove away. Well, that sounded pretty final. I guess losing my virginity would have to wait until someone else came along. Someone better. Although, I had the sneaking suspicion that Kris was about as perfect for me as God could have created.

I have to admit that I moped the weekend away. I got home to find that Dave had confessed everything to a surprised Archie and that they had agreed to keep seeing each other but to keep it PG until Archie turned eighteen in December. I smiled and congratulated him and silently whimpered that my boy of choice did not feel the same.

I think my brother and best friend finally had enough of me by Sunday afternoon. Matt kicked me in the ankle and muttered, "Grow a pair, dickhead. If you really like the guy then get him to talk to you and listen to you."

I glared at him. "Do you think I didn't try that? The thing is, I can't blame him. I lied to him. For two weeks solid, I made him think that I was an off-limits kid that he was having feelings for. As a teacher, that must have sucked big time and it must have given him sleepless nights. I hate that. I feel like shit."

Dave offered, "Why don't you make some kind of grand gesture, you know, to prove that you really care about him?"

I dropped my head into the cushion on my lap. I was sort of enjoying my own little pity party. A solution wasn't really forthcoming.

"What sort of 'gesture'?" I asked.

Dave shrugged. "Dude, I don't know. You're the one who fucked up, you know him best. What would make him give you another chance?"

That question stayed with me for the rest of the weekend. I wallowed in my misery which wasn't helped by the very cute sight of Archie snuggling up to my brother. Dave was trying to behave himself, but his boyfriend was not helping the situation. If I hadn't been so miserable I would have laughed my ass off. Poetic justice for my hound dog brother indeed.

Sunday night, I got into bed, no closer to a resolution than when I started. I lay in the dark, remembering those two amazing kisses from a man I thought I could fall in love with so very easily. That empty space in my heart suggested that I was a little closer to that than I cared to admit.

I woke up on Monday morning with the solution fully formed in my head. I knew exactly what I needed to do.

I strode into the Cowell Records offices that morning and walked straight past Kara, Simon's secretary, who shouted at me to stop. He looked up at me, surprised as I walked in.

"Lambert. Do you have an appointment?" His tone was sarcastic and biting but I wasn't going to let him intimidate me today.

"Simon, I am here to tender my resignation." His eyebrows shot up and I continued. "I want you to let me cut a demo in the studio. If you hate it then I will work my month's notice and get out of your hair." He opened his mouth but I carried on, "But, if you like what you hear, then I want a contract, a deal with Cowell Records and it will be a twenty-four hour notice period then." I waited.

"You must think a lot of your voice then, Adam," was all that he said and I nodded mutely. He pushed his intercom and spoke, "Kara, please ask Anoop to set up a session in the studio for Adam this afternoon. I think we're about to discover a star."

I stared at him. "What?"

Simon smiled and said, "I've always known that you have the voice to make it big. You just needed to believe it too."

I grinned, light-headed and dizzy with delight. "You are a very devious man, Mr. Cowell." I told him.

He nodded. "Yes, I am, it's what has made me who I am today."

Kara buzzed and her disembodied voice told us that I was scheduled for recording at three pm that afternoon. I felt my stomach drop as I realized that this could be the beginning of every dream I'd ever had.

Matt went with me to the studio. He called Dave who came over as well. I knew that my brother was going to be the next in line for a contract. His sound was different to mine but once I established myself, then I could focus on helping him.

The producer asked me what I wanted to sing and I handed him a CD of a song that Dave and I had written together. "Broken Open" was about letting someone be so open with you that they trusted you to hold them up when they were falling down. The song was simple and vulnerable and it asked me to strip my voice down to its most basic self. He put it in, listened to it, raised a brow and smiled. He spent a couple of minutes copying it and adding a soft beat and back track and then motioned me into the booth.

I nailed it. First time. I could see it by the expression on his face and the smiles on Matt and Dave's faces. He told me to do it again though, and I did. And it was even better. I looked up and saw Simon and Anoop standing there too, both of them nodding and smiling and I knew that I had my contract and my career. Now I just had to get my guy.

The next few months were filled with recording sessions and late nights arguing about how the album should look and sound and what the cover should look like. Simon was in a big hurry to get it out before Christmas. I even managed to get him to let Dave duet with me on a song. It was a crazy-ass rock ballad that let the two of us mix our voices into a weird blend that somehow worked. His rough rocker voice and my smooth falsetto combined in a song about friendship and going to the end of the line for one another. It was going to be huge.

Archie graduated and we were all there, cheering and clapping and he waved his diploma at us as he walked off the stage. I saw Kris on the platform with the other teachers and he made a point of ignoring me. Archie had told us that he was planning on leaving Compton at the end of the school year and was heading for Hollywood to try his luck in the music business. He had also told us that Katy and Kris had split up and that Kris had handed Glee over to Paula, which made me shudder.

But I had plans for Kris Allen and they were just about to come to life. The principal then gave his address and at the end announced, "We have a musical guest here today everyone. He's someone you all got to know for a couple of weeks a few months ago. He was researching the sort of music that students listen to these days and he managed to make us all believe that he was an eighteen year old student. I am sure no one looking at him now will say that. I give you, Adam Lambert!"

I stood up to loud applause, mostly from my friends in the Glee Club and grinned at them, waved and headed for the stage. Kris looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. The music for "If I Had You" played through the school sound system and I started singing. The kids were shouting and cheering and stomping and I strutted across that stage like I owned it.

I was just hoping that Kris was listening to the words. They were written for him, about him and were being sung to him. _"But if I had you, that would be the only thing I'd ever need. Yeah, if I had you, then money, fame and fortune never could compete. If I had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy, yeah if I had you."_

I finished with a flourish and bowed to the whistling and yelling students. "Congratulations, Class of 2009!" I yelled and they all whooped. "If I could ask you all just to listen to me for a moment I'd really appreciate it." They quieted down and all looked me. "As you all know, I was here for two weeks a couple of months ago. It was terrible at first, like reliving my worst childhood nightmares, because I was a real loser at school the first time around." They laughed. "This time, I changed those memories, with the help of some friends," I smiled at Allison and Archie, "some family," I nodded at Dave who nodded and grinned back, "and some of the most amazing kids it's been my privilege to know." The students clapped and whooped and then went quiet again. "I was able to get rid of all the negative memories from my days in school thanks to all of you and have no regrets, except one."

I took a deep breath, here went nothing. "I deceived someone, hurt someone in my voyage to self-discovery. I made a mockery of his feelings and I never meant to humiliate him. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about me, especially after everything that I've done, but I just wanted the chance to stand up here and say, I'm sorry. It's not nearly enough, I don't think anything could be enough, but he's everything I've ever dreamed of and I want him to know that I think I might be in love with him."

The kids were all on their feet now, shouting, encouraging, supporting me and I felt a swell of emotion rise in me. If this didn't work, I'd be okay. I'd be heartbroken but I'd be okay. Eventually. I didn't turn around to look at Kris. I didn't want to make it apparent who it was I was talking about. It was up to him to make that decision, that move. When nothing happened, the crowd went quiet, my shoulders slumped and I stepped back from the microphone and started to walk off the stage.

Then a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I heard the murmuring from the kids and turned slowly to look down into Kris' brown eyes. There was a light there, laughter and something else that made me hope.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

I gaped at him. "Me? You told me to go away. You said goodbye. I thought I was respecting your wishes."

He smiled. "You always listen to what people tell you to do?"

I grinned. "Not so much anymore. I'm going to be a rock star." I lifted a hand and stroked it down his cheek. "I missed you. I came back to get you, because…all this, it's nothing without you."

Kris moved his hand from my shoulder to behind my neck and tugged me down. "I think this is the part where you kiss me."

And I did. In front of hundreds of kids and parents and teachers and friends and they were all cheering and clapping.

It was the best kiss in the history of the world. But wait, that's a line from a whole other story.


End file.
